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A Very Hootie Christmas


Now People ask me what I want for christmas. You know what I want? Well I'll tell you anyway. I want the elimination of this musical menace known as Hootie and the Blowfish! "Why do you hate Hootie?", you might ask. Well I'll tell you, they are crap, plain and simple. How did I come to this conclusion, well if you haven't figured out yet I'll tell you the reasons.

1. The most obvious reason ,unless your deaf, is the similarities of their song structures. In other words, their songs sound the same!

2. overexposure, I mean c'mon, there must be 100's, no wait, MILLIONS of better bands in the world, but MTV and radio treats 'em like they're the only thing around.

3. To me, lyrics are essential to a good song, and good lyrics turn on the imagination and create images in your mind, Hootie's lyrics do not do this at all, the lyrics are 2-dimensional and colorless. Listen to this line,"I'm such a baby cause the dolphins make me cry", now is this good lyrics? Just as I thought.

4. Hootie's music (Besides sounding exactly the same in every song) has no creativity, life, or originality at all.. It's very boring and painful to sit through.

5. Darius Rucker's whiny vocal, self-explanitory

6. Well I think I covered the five major reasons why I hate hootie, but a good sixth reason is just the bands name (think of it, if it wasn't for that name, they would of never caught mtv's attention, just a thought)!

Well, if this doesn't simply explain why Hootie sucks, and why I want their demise for Christmas, than you are either stupid, dense, mentally insane, slow, lack common sense, dropped on your head as a baby, or even worse, A Hootie Fan!


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